Perfect summer night, restless single girl. They had a second date set up for tomorrow, she mulled over calling him back to see if he wanted to move the date up and see a movie in an hour, or she could call a friend to see the movie. Neither option felt like a completely clear idea so she paused. She had learned that it was more fun to go into something inspired than move forward when she felt restless. She took a shower, freshened up and shaved her legs. Why not be ready for anything, like he calls her to suggest a movie while she is in the shower…he did not. OK not meant to be, she talks herself up, “all is well and feeling good not forcing an agenda is my objective anyway.” She sits outside and keeps working her thoughts until inspiration hits her. Pulling the bike outside in the warm summer air felt right. The wind was sublime, she was “going out,” and enjoyed the ride completely. Check out a few runners and bicyclists, see the neighborhood, talk to a cute couple. A few blocks to the river and back. It was the perfect date. Her & the bike & the summer night.
Sexy town or annoyed? - The laundry and life with the one you love.
Sexy sexy. Breaks screeching! But what about that pile of laundry?! When you fell in love you saw primarily the things in him or her that evoked a feeling of love from you. If now a pile of laundry left on the floor bothers you, learn how to not let it bother you. Many relationship books will tell you to talk about the annoyance, or come up with a system, I’ve learned from experience to walk away and deal with my mood (energy, vibe, state, etc.). This approach is simple and effective, especially with practice.
When we are bothered - it’s no time to talk to your man or woman, nor is it time to push through and do that thing that feels annoying. Of course you can, there’s no wrong way, but what if you let it go for a minute or an hour or a day or a lifetime. How about doing something else to affect your state, and increase your good feeling day. I’ve learned when I feel annoyed or negative to clean up my own mood before going further with my panties in a wad.
When we are determined to feel good and do the work to feel good, then the day flows (so does our relationship). We might step over the pile, or pick it up and not lose a beat.
Here’s a practice idea: practice making things a non-issue. When something feels annoying instead of staying annoyed, do something, anything, to distract yourself and feel better. Then decide if you will take action or talk to your mate. It will happen much more effectively and naturally.
I like to remember that I have a choice about how I feel moment by moment. I can’t control my mate, but I can control how I feel and thus the quality of my day. I love the thought, “Do I want to be right or happy?” When I find myself pursuing being right I know it’s time for me to take care of my mood. I no longer tolerate negative moods for very long. Sure, I can still get my panties in a wad, or something may catch me off guard, but as soon as I notice (feel negative in some way), I do everything I can to steer myself in a better feeling direction. I want to attract after all, more of what feels good, not more of what doesn’t feel good to me.
My mate and I enjoy a lot more opportunity for ease and sexy town this way. Life is better for all.
I discovered perfume recently, and now I’m a lush. I’ve been wearing it everyday, and at night to bed. I’ve skunked myself too, I’m still learning how to apply. My friend who has been collecting and wearing perfume forever has been giving me things to try and coaching me. It’s been fun. I wear it when I sleep alone. I wear it to the grocery store. My true love is not going to bump into me in my bed as far as I know, but it makes me happy, and tomorrow he may bump into me picking out peaches or wine.
I’ve learned to do more of what makes me feel good, not to attract someone, but because it feels good to feel good. And you know where that leads!
Here are some ingredients I’ve found useful for meditation. Why meditate? Good Q. Because it will reduce your active resistance between your now reality and what you want in life or love. You will feel better and attract more that feels good in your life.
Do I need to go to a retreat, do it for hours, or chant? No.
Ready? 1. Sit comfortably or lay back (no need to pretzel), 2. Set a timer for 10 or 15 or 20 minutes (that will be sufficient once or twice a day), 3. Close your eyes, 4. Focus on your relaxed breathing (if your focus wanders to your thoughts, no worries, come back gently to your breathing). However, if you feel good and inspired ideas come to mind - enjoy! Sometimes I stop meditating and write, shower, go make that connection…whatever’s come to mind that feels immediate and inspired. Easy peesy. Questions?
If you fall asleep, take a nap - that’s a great way to recharge too. It’s all good. Be easy about it. In 30 days or even 3, you will see positive changes in your life, in your point of attraction, in how you feel, and in your relationships.
They split the rollover minutes, cancelled the Family Plan and moved on.
Emotionally it was also easy. She had recently (past few years) decided not to buy the idea that relationships had to be hard or that breakups had to be hard. She had reset her thinking on the topic, and was determined to focus in ways that made her feel good. Knowing now that she couldn’t manage anyone else’s well-being anyway. She focused on the good qualities of the relationship, her appreciation for him, and everything the relationship inspired in her as far as the clarity of what she wanted in a relationship. And she did this in her own mind, not in conversation with him.
She loved knowing it wasn’t her job to manage his response to the breakup or even be aware of it! Ahhh…the ease. She wished she knew this when she first started dating, but experience is a great way to learn ehh!? Her now understanding was comforting and freeing. When friends asked her, “So, how’s he doing with it?” She said, “I don’t know, we haven’t been in touch, but I like to think he’s well and we’re both moving in a good direction.” Then she stopped talking about it, even if their questions persisted. She was already focused on another topic. She monitored the most important thing - how she felt, and wasn’t willing to get out of alignment in worry or questioning or reflecting too much on what was. She was already taking the good and moving forward.
Best relationship and breakup to date. Now ready and eager for more; closer than ever to the best feeling and most compatible relationship of her life.
Sex is great, when we’re in the zone, out of the zone…no thank you. “I think I’d rather clean the fridge today,” she says to her friend. She was serious. She met a guy, went on a few dates, and decided it wasn’t the right thing despite her longing for a great romp in bed.
We can’t do wrong, but sometimes cleaning the fridge (or anything else mildly inspired) is the best course of action for managing our own alignment and therefore attracting the now and next best into our lives.
Reminds me of a break up story: amicable break up, hot sex when they were together, but not the right overall compatibility to stay together. Yet, after the split she found herself driving over to his house for a booty call, only to realize she would be better off turning around and distracting herself with something else. Not that sex would be “wrong,” it just wouldn’t be as good as if she were in full alignment with it. Part of her had already decided and moved on. This was moving back. So, she got a pedicure, bought a juicy summer peach, and went home satisfied. Alone.
What’s better than sex? The feeling of alignment (joyful, in the zone, hopeful, confident, passionate, satisfied and eager for more). Plus, it’s great to know that when we are in the mode of feeling good we are certain to attract that which we imagine feels good…(hint: there’s more and better sex to come).